Rutte: “Qatar, we have a problem”

– Hello? Am I speaking to the emir of Qatar?
– Yes.
– This is premier Mark Rutte speaking from the Netherlands. My minister of foreign affairs Frans Timmermans is also present. How are you, your eminence?
– Very well, thank you. What can I do for you?
– It’s about the World Cup Soccer that will be held in your lovely country Qatar.
– Yes?
– As you may well know, the Olympic Winter Games are currently held in Sochi?
– Of course I know. President Poetin and I are close friends. He predicted you would call.
– I will speak to president Poetin tomorrow. It’s complicated. The Dutch parliament is very concerned about the human rights in Russia. After the Winter Games I expect difficult political questions about Qatar.
– Solve it. Get rid of your parliament. What’s the problem?
– That is not possible, I am afraid.
– Why not? Qatar has no parliament and no political parties.
– Pardon?
– I am the king. I rule.
– Oh… oh… I see… One moment. I will call you back. [2 uur later] Your eminence, might it be possible to implement small changes towards a democracy in your country?
– No. Of course not. I am the king. I rule.
– Oh… One moment please… I will call you back [4 uur later] Your eminence, the Dutch government is convinced you love your people dearly and only want the best for your country. That would be the most important.
– Thank you. Any more questions?
– Yes, the Dutch parliament is a little bit concerned about the human rights of African construction workers. Word has come to us that many of them die while building the soccer stadiums. More than 200 already. Amnesty International is talking about slave-like conditions.
– I see. Well, I can assure you, their positions will greatly improve.
– Yes? Really?
– Of course. I promise. You will never hear from them again. Oké?
– Oh, that would be great! Frans, hoor je dat? Verbeteringen! Thank you, I will tell that to the people in Holland.
– You are welcome.
– One last question, your eminence. How about homosexuals in Qatar?
– Homosexuals in Qatar?
– Yes. How about their rights? No awkward laws?
– Aha, colleague Poetin already told me you would come up with this question. I can assure you: there are no homosexuals in Qatar.
– No homosexuals in Qatar? Not even one?
– No. Not even one. Never been. And never will be.
– Oh! That is such a relief. Thank you! Frans! Hoor je dat? Geen homo’s in Qatar!

2 reacties op “Rutte: “Qatar, we have a problem””

  1. DoktorBlue

    STRIKE! Vol middenin de Westerse hypocratie! Qatar & Saudie-Arabie zijn belangrijk voor America (dus goed), Rusland niet (dus slecht).

  2. De grootste hypocrisie is wel dat men voortdurend over mensenrechtenschendingen, vrouwendiscriminatie, her kernwapenprogramma en vermeende internationale agressie van Iran praten terwijl Saoedi-Arabie minstens even hard mensen- en vrouwenrechten schendt, gastarbeiders als slaven behandelt, en evenveel personen per hoofd van de bevolking executeert, en soennitische terreurbewegingen steunt. Ik zie al het scenario van een staatsbezoek van de Luxemburgse premier Xavier Bettel (zelf homo) aan Saoedi-Arabie.

    Bettel: Good to meat you, your Majesty. But what are these guys with swords doing here?
    Abdullah: I respect our international co-operation. But I rule in the name of God, and He does not like homosexuals and it is my devine duty to send them back to God so that He can judge over their sexual perversions. And you happen to be one of them… so you shall be beheaded on our beautiful Deera Square, also named Chop-chop Square.
    Bettel: But you can not do this, this is an official international visit!
    Abdullah: Gods will goes before human governments. I am terribly sorry.
    Bettel: Luxembourg is NATO member! We will not accept this!
    Abdullah: Does NATO country inhabitants want to pay 10 euro per litre of gas? I don’t think so. Sorry mister Bettel. Luxembourg can elect a new Prime Minister. Good bye Mister Bettel, may God have mercy on your sexual perverted soul.

Laat een reactie achter

Het e-mailadres wordt niet gepubliceerd. Vereiste velden zijn gemarkeerd met *

Scroll naar top