Very gaaf indeed

“Hello?”
“Da?”
“Mister Poetin?”
“Da!”
“Ah, yes! Hello! This is Mark Rutte. Hai, hai! Let me introduce myself. I am the new strong man of NATO and…”
“I know who you are, Mister Rutte. And please call me Vlad. We once drank beer together, remember? A lot of beer.”
“Is that so? Well, I don’t have any active memory about that.”
“But I do. It was in the Holland Heineken House. The Olympic Games, Sotsji 2014.”
“Again, no memory about that! Sorry!”
“Well, then let me refresh your memory. After your king went to bed, completely wasted, I showed you some pictures of myself, bare-chested on a horseback. You thought they were very impressive. And masculine.”
“I am sure I don’t remember that.”
“Yeah, right…”
“But you know what, Vlad? I also have photos! Very powerful!”
“You do?”
“Yes! Pictures of me on a bike. With an apple in my hand!”
“And why are they powerful?”
“They show that I… eh… that I can ride and eat at the same time. Very multitasking!”
“I don’t think that’s masculine.”
“Well, in the Netherlands everyone said it was ‘very gaaf indeed’ to see me riding a bike and eating an apple.”
“What’s that word? Rrrraaf?”
“No no, gááf. A famous Dutch word. Cannot be translated. But that is not why I am calling you, Vlad. There is something else: North-Korean soldiers in the Koersk region. Completely unacceptable and…”
“Ah, yes. My little friends, the North-Koreans.”
“This is a serious escalation!”
“Is it? But why? I just threw in that little trick you told me about in Sotsji, laughing like a mad man. How you won the 2012 Dutch elections by promising every citizen 1.000 euros. So I did the same. But I doubled the amount, just for fun: I promised every North-Korean soldier 2.000 dollars.”
“Wait a minute, you’re saying you bought soldiers the same way I bought votes?”
“Precisely. It’s all about perception. You promised 1.000 euros and got votes. I promised double and got soldiers.”
“But eventually they will realize the money isn’t coming!”
“So what? Those North-Koreans will do the same as what your voters did. First complain, and then move on. People have short memories.”
“Not when it comes to broken promises. Believe me, those tend to linger.”
“True, but by then, we’ll have moved on to the next big promise. That’s how politics works, Mister Rutte. Perception is reality.”
“Well, I hope your North-Korean soldiers will enjoy their perception of wealth.”
“And I hope your voters have enjoyed their perception of democracy. Goodbye, Mister Rutte.”